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Why don't hazardous waste bins have "Caveat Emptier" on them?
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I said in my last post that the fort had moved (implicitly from the Shires) to Dol Amroth. It occurs to me, however, that given Taruithorn's traditional alignment, it's more likely we've moved from somewhere near Cirith Ungol down to the Bay of Belfalas or nearby parts. (But not Umbar, because logically that must be Penzance, because everyone knows that's where the Pirates come from.)
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As reward for getting on with tidying the house, to make it saleable, I decided that I really wanted to rewatch Buffy, and so bought a complete box set. [personal profile] minion_of_tevildo and I have thus been watching it in our breaks, and are currently about halfway through season three. We've discussed a few crossover ideas (notably involving what various canons would make of Spike) over the last few days, but this evening's idea came suddenly and with the force of a lightning bolt:

Bodyswap: Cordelia Chase / Cordelia, Countess Vorkosigan

The most likely suspect is, naturally, Ethan Rayne, looking to cause mischief but not particularly interested in getting anyone killed. Swapping a (from his perspective) minor member of Buffy's support team for a random other person with the same name should be fun, right? I'm not quite sure that even Cordelia V. is going to be able to actually turn him into a good person, but I do think he's fairly rapidly going to wind up more alarmed by her than he is by Giles. While tracking him down, of course, she's going to give the Scooby Gang the Betan sex-ed treatment for their idiotic love-lives, permanently readjusting a number of heads (and extracting a few from colons somewhat prematurely, from the series point of view). She's not going to have much sympathy for the Council's bullsh*t, either; post-"Helpless", Giles is going to find himself with an unexpectedly potent ally, and Wesley is in for a torrent of pain when he arrives. She might even be able to rescue Faith from herself, if she arrives early enough.

On the other end, Cordelia C, dropped into the Vorkosigan family, is going to have a harder time of it. Even if she works out what's happened fast enough (which she should do; she's smart[1]), she's not going to fool any of the other Cordelia's family or friends for an instant. They're going to work out that she's an imposter equally fast, and while (post-Mark, at any rate), they'll be open to the idea that the imposter is relatively innocent, the idea that she has no idea where she is or what's going on is unlikely to be accepted. Once she gets over the initial panic, and they all get pointed in the right direction, things will be alright (for her; Ethan is in a world of trouble at this point[2]), but before that, Cordy will have a very bad time. [ETA: for bonus points, there needs to be some unavoidable social situation in which CC has to pretend to be CV, under the supervision of Lady Alys. Because seeing CC come up against that immovable object on the subjects of fashion and etiquette...] There could also be some serious political strain. Depending on the timing, Cetaganda or one of the Jacksonian houses could plausibly be blamed for the switch, with everyone on Barrayar simultaneously trying to point fingers and keep it quiet that anything's happened. Then, of course, they don't believe in magic (or, presumably, have any local expertise), so they're probably just going to have to wait for their Cordelia to get everything in line back in Buffyland and get the spell reversed.

[1] She's going to get some very interesting life-lessons about (a) being overly self-interested and (b) pretending to be stupid.
[2] Seriously, Aral's response to someone kidnapping his wife as a joke? Miles and Gregor will merely be homicidal; Aral will be much, much scarier.
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I haven't actually checked by rewatching it all, but I'm pretty sure that Red Dwarf never did the terribly obvious "Open the pod bay doors, Hol" "I can't do that Dave" joke.

I'm also surprised not to have seen any jokes about a book featuring dodgy dungeons and unusual fantasies called "Fifty Shades of Grue". Although I admit I can't think of a good one off-hand.
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If someone were to suck condensed milk through a straw, the effort involved would basically counteract the energy intake from consuming it, yes? At the very least, it's got to be a lot healthier than just eating it with a spoon, hasn't it?

Um, asking for a friend, obviously. A fed-up friend with a cold who's sleeping very erratic hours.
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I've been dismally failing to make one post per week recently, and had been meaning to try and get in the habit of posting some shorter / (even) more trivial things to get back in the habit.

So, it occurred to me tonight that my socks are somewhat like leap years:

My socks go in the blue laundry pile, unless they're Muppet socks, in which case they go in the general pile, except for Gonzo, who *does* go in the blue pile.

You see what I mean?
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In the latest issue of Ansible, Dave Langford considers the naming of Anthracosuchus balrogus, and wonders whether it was a giant flaming reptile, and if it carried a whip. Somehow, though, he neglects to ask the all-important question: Did it have wings?
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Are spacemen numbered starting with at One, or is one of them always the Astro-naught?
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A local charity put up signs a little while ago, advertising a "Nearly New Baby and Toddler Sale"; more recently, these have been changed, and now emphasize that it's a "Nearly New Baby and Toddler Clothing Sale". But the old signs did give me a laugh every time I went past.
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At the weekend(ish) we had a visit from [personal profile] minion_of_tevildo. In addition to the production of actual healthy home-made food, this led to the discovery that the minion had never seen the Rankin and Bass cartoon of The Hobbit. (Incidentally, if you've not seen this, I do recommend it, should you have the chance. It lacks a high-point to match the justly (in)famous disco orcs, but is otherwise basically just as so-bad-its-good as their version of "Return of the King".)

Naturally, this oversight was promptly rectified, with the film accompanied by booze, sniggering, and cheerful heckling. But in amongst this, the minion observed that Thranduil looks remarkably like Toad of Toad Hall, and so speculation about equivalent characters for a crossover began. Clearly, given their enmity, Thorin must be the Chief Weasel (with the other weasels representing the general crowd of dwarves and stoats); Bilbo lives in a hole and wants a quiet life, so he's Mole. As for Badger - well, there's a wise-but-grumpy character in The Hobbit, too, and they're even both canonically played by Michael Horden.

Elrond is clearly Pan (who turns up, provides sanctuary in passing, and then vanishes from the narrative), the insulted policeman is almost certainly a Mirkwoodian Spider ("Attacop, indeed!"), and there's the sneaking suspicion that "Smog", the magicmispronounced dragon, is an unsubtle metaphor for the threat to the woodlands from encroaching development and pollution.

Ratty seems worryingly absent, until you consider Gollum's life on the river, and apparent pleasure in "messsssing about in boatses, my precious", after which he just seems worrying.

There are even a couple of cameos from Fred Colon as "Bard the guard" and Nobby Nobbs as The Thrush, who instructs FredBard on shooting the dragon's voonerable spot.
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I seem to have found myself playing Fallen London, as a devious and observant person of mysterious and indistinct gender. Browser-based, free[1], heavily text-oriented (the illustrations are entertainingly thematic, but there wouldn't be any difficulty playing the game without them) and very silly. And I haven't even managed to gain entrance to the Labyrinth of Tigers yet; not enough rats on a string (they have a lot of stripey mouths to feed, after all). Originally, my character set out to be a poet, but they seem to be making most of their actual income from hunting sinister moths and robbing drunks. Oh well....

If anyone else is playing, feel free to get in touch. If anyone who isn't thinks all this sounds interesting and would like an invite (which opens up otherwise inaccessible substories for both inviter and invitee), do let me know. Mushroom wine, anyone?

[1] A small subset of the later story-arcs are inaccessible unless you pay to play them, but that seems fair enough, and there's no pay-to-win aspect.
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I'd always assumed that the Imperial Star Destroyer was essentially top predator in the Star Wars universe, but it turns out that there's a special kind of giant space kraken that feeds on them. Who knew?
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I'd always assumed that the Imperial Star Destroyer was essentially top predator in the Star Wars universe, but it turns out that there's a special kind of giant space kraken that feeds on them. Who knew?

(I also like the fact that the guy's employer bought a display case for their offices to put this in. He clearly works for good people.)
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Stripey Mad Scientist, GSOH, Own Laboratory, WLTM potential research subjects new friends for full biosample analysis drinks and chat, with a view to creating an army of clones sharing mutual hobbies and possible reconstruction as cyborg minions deeper relationship.
Please send photo and blood sample with reply.

No Zombies or Cucumbers need apply.
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As I wandered through our local supermarket, not buying anything (it was cold and dark and I wanted a walk somewhere that was air-conditioned and not raining), the label on a pack of bottles for minimising the hassle you get from airport security caught my eye. It asserted that the 100ml bottles in the bag were suitable for "All gels, foams, pastes, and other liquids". Is it unreasonable for me to feel that even the marketing nerk who wrote the text should have been able to identify that "gels, foams, [and] pastes" are by definition emphatically not liquids? Is that specialist knowledge that I shouldn't expect people to possess? (And if I asked for comments explaining the relevance of this posting's title, who would be first?)
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[personal profile] minion_of_tevildo has just asked me:

How would Benjamin Franklin react to Rule 34?

This strikes me as a good essay question. Two thousand words by Friday, please. (Sadly it isn't the essay xe's writing, which is on serious stuff. And longer. And not due this week.)
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A couple of days ago, I was talking to [personal profile] minion_of_tevildo about a book I was reading, and observed that one of the female characters was a classic mustache-twirling vaudeville villain. "Or whatever the female equivalent of mustache twirling is", I added. Despite some further discussion, and even a visit to TV Tropes[1], we were unable to discover (or decide) what the female equivalent of mustache-twirling actually is, and are now turning to all the tiny people who live in my computerthe internet in hopes of an answer. Please, dear friends, what is the female equivalent of villainous mustache-twirling?

[1] which only mentions mustache-twirling in passing on the Dastardly Whiplash page, and shockingly fails to even consider the possibility of a female equivalent.
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Dorothea at Book of Trogool had been complaining about the difficulty of explaining to certain types of people that there really isn't any one metadata schema that's superior to all others under all circumstances. One Schema to rule them all, if you will. This was the result.
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In case anyone wants to know, people responded to my Very Important Question as follows:

Two People said Dragon (including one plea for a furry flying fire-breathing cross-breed)
Four People said Tiger (including one plea for a furry flying fire-breathing cross-breed, and one would-be sportsman)
[personal profile] kht got confused and said Dinosaur (but probably counts as a half vote for Dragon)

Which would appear to be a comprehensive win for the stripey ones, at least for the time being.


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